


All For Freedom and For Pleasure

by Mackem



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Bonding, Childhood Trauma, F/M, Fluff, Getting to Know Each Other, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 20:45:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11813859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mackem/pseuds/Mackem
Summary: Yeah, not a bad effort, as backsides go. She hadn't noticed it before, but then, she's really never had much of a reason to notice Barry, let alone his rear end.And, again, it’s right there.Oh, it’s too inviting. Can she really be expected not to take advantage of this opportunity, when the universe presented him to her like this? Head down, ass up…The perfect target.





	All For Freedom and For Pleasure

**Author's Note:**

> For a fic which starts off talking about temptation and self-denial and miserable childhoods... wow, there sure is a lot of talk of ass-crack in there by the end, huh. Hoo boy. It zagged on me, and I ran with it. I really should've named this, "Cognitive Dissonance: The Fic." It was MEANT to be all for funsies, and then stuff happened.
> 
> There's also hints at previous assholes being grabby without permission and talk of less than happy childhoods, but they are really only mentioned in passing, nothing gets graphic. That, and some swearing, got the teen rating.
> 
> The prompt I wrote around here was 'temptation'. I am not subtle. The title comes from 'Everybody Wants to Rule the World' by Tears for Fears / Ninja Sex Party, who do my favourite version, yeahhhh.

Lup is a creature of temptation.

 

Oh, sure, she causes temptation in other people, that’s a given. She and Taako learned just how irresistibly alluring they are years ago, the knowledge drummed into them by the leers of a thousand hungry eyes, and by greedy hands grasping at lithe flesh without bothering to seek permission.

 

The two of them have taught more than a few lessons in return, in fact; short, sharp, classes in subjects such as ‘consent’ and ‘respect’ and ‘your fingers won’t be doing much groping now they’re broken, huh, dipshit’. They painstakingly earned reputations in the caravans they travelled in, one scumbag at a time. People would whisper as they passed by; those elves may look beautiful, and fragile, and oh so tempting, but look, don’t touch, unless you _want_ to crawl away scorched and bleeding.

 

They escaped those days long ago, running free to scrape along on their own without a backwards glance. Lup and Taako believed from their tiniest of years that their destiny did not lie in stinking caravans, but somewhere altogether grander, and together they made damn sure to get there. They worked their fingers to the bone, in fact, taking any job they could get to scrape up the money to attend college, and from there it was just the tiny matter of years spent learning and training and impressing people until there was no _way_ they could be excluded from the IPRE team.

 

That grand future _would_ be theirs. Even now, she thinks as they make history and cross between the planar systems and explore an entirely unknown world, there must be more. Something bigger. Something magnificent enough to be worthy of the Taaco twins.

 

Still, those miserable years of her youth were not for naught. At least they gave the two of them an understanding of how to use people’s desire for themselves. Lup is used to eyes shining with want being fixed on her, and knows how to use that temptation to her advantage like she knows how to breathe. People are simple, and so often stupid, and so malleable in her dexterous hands.

 

But she can’t deny that she _gets_ it, man. She really does. Lup is also somebody who delights in giving in to temptation.

 

And why the hell not? So long as nobody’s getting hurt – or, at least, nobody who doesn’t deserve it – why should she deny herself? If she wants a crisp glass of wine, or an extra-large slice of Taako’s gooey chocolate gateaux, or to spend some time alone with a particularly beautiful person… who is she helping by refusing her desires?

 

She’s heard all the ridiculous arguments, of course. There is never a shortage of people who seem to think they have the right to poke their noses into her business, judging and disapproving and lecturing. She remembers watching a priest sermonise to a town square at large one day, long ago, after she and Taako had run from the caravans and set out alone. He had shouted himself hoarse about the virtues of humble living, and fasting, and restraint as salves for the soul.

 

Fuck that. Fuck it! Lup remembers all too well offering up a few copper coins to the town’s only innkeeper, and being told flatly that a room was ten silver and no less, and that any further attempts to haggle could be addressed to the hefty club brandished menacingly in their direction. She recalls ragged clothes hanging off skinny limbs and hunger pains gripping their bellies, and resorting to fashioning a makeshift bed out of cardboard boxes in an alleyway.

 

Contrary to what the priest had suggested, none of that felt good. Nobody had shown up to tousle their hair and offer a big thumbs-up in praise of how they were just _acing_ that whole ‘simple living’ thing.

 

No, what felt _good_ was sneaking into the inn’s kitchen while the shitty innkeeper was distracted by the illusory pack of dogs Taako conjured in front of his shittier inn, and making off with a loaf of bread shoved in her shirt and an entire roast chicken in her arms. That chicken had fed them for three days. The look of impotent rage on the innkeeper’s face when he spotted her speeding off had kept her grinning for even longer.

 

Fuck restraint! Fuck resisting temptation. Never _once_ had she felt enriched for going without. She'll leave that moral high ground bullshit to people trying to stave off hell in the next life. Lup has already been through hell and has clawed her way out of it, and giving into her desires has only ever made her feel better. She’s always gonna do whatever the hell she wants.

 

And right now, what she desires more than anything else in the world is to scare the heck outta Barry.

 

He just makes too perfect a target, is all. There he is, on hands and knees in the galley of the _Starblaster_ , with his head and shoulders hidden under the table and his butt sticking in the air as he scrabbles about on the floor. He's too busy muttering to himself to have heard her approach, and it's all just too tempting to resist.

 

It's not that Barry is a bad guy. He’s… really not much of anything, honestly. Considering that the _Starblaster_ is hardly the most spacious of living situations, and that their crew consists of only seven people, Lup feels like Barry does his best to keep himself separate. Even after he chose to join Taako and Lup in their mission to cosy up to the mongoose family they met, he still self-consciously scurries away from them to hole up in his room every time they’re finished for the day.

 

Still, what she’s managed to glean about him isn’t terrible. He's definitely a dedicated nerdlord; his hands are forever stained with ink as he scribbles reams of notes theorising about the animals’ society as though that’ll reveal more than actually socialising with 'em and, y'know, finding that stuff out for real. He's kind of nondescript, young-ish for a human – she thinks? Maybe? Lup honestly has no real idea how to tell, once they're not just tiny babies any more – with sandy hair, thick, dorky glasses, and a habit of flushing whenever any attention is on him. He spends the majority of the sparse conversations he holds with people with his eyes on his shoes.

 

Lup really has no idea how he got hired for this mission. Like, not throwing shade, she _literally_ has no idea how he got the job. How did this shy, jeans-wearing geekoboy manage to talk himself up as the best candidate out of the thousands who applied, when he can’t even meet her gaze when she wishes him good morning? The interview must have been excruciating.

 

The dude must be mega-good at science to be accepted, though. Maybe one of these days Lup will ask to read the endless notes he writes during their sessions with the mongooses and give him a quick li’l evaluation of her own. They’re already a few months into their mission; it’d be nice to know what conclusions he’s drawing from it.

 

And to find out if he’s made notes about that one time a weasel ran up the leg of his jeans and got _real_ cosy with his junk while she and Taako rolled around laughing and refused to help.

 

Speaking of Barry’s junk… His bottom is right in front of her, bobbing around as he struggles to wedge himself further under the table.

 

Despite his jeans riding so low that she can see not only his dorky underwear but also a sizeable amount of butt crack, it's a decent ass, she thinks as she gives into the temptation to really check it out. It’s plump, and round, and seems soft enough that giving it a little smack would be immensely satisfying. It’s also a little pale and pasty, perhaps, but she finds herself wondering if it would develop the same freckles as those dusted across his nose and cheeks if he unleashed it into the sun for awhile.

 

Yeah, not a bad effort, as backsides go. She hadn't noticed it before, but then, she's really never had much of a reason to notice _Barry_ , let alone his rear end.

 

And, again, it’s _right there_.

 

Oh, it’s too inviting. Can she really be expected not to take advantage of this opportunity, when the universe presented him to her like this? Head down, ass up…

 

The perfect target.

 

She doesn’t put too much thought into it. She just goes with what feels right, draws her wand, and sends a chilly wave of frosty air towards his ass with prestidigitation.

 

The strangled yelp he produces as frozen air blasts down his butt crack is very satisfying; the dull thump of his head hitting the table as he instinctively tries to jerk upright is the cherry on the cake. Lup dissolves into howls of raucous laughter as he scuttles back until his head emerges from under the table.

 

He’s already flushing when his face appears, but somehow he turns an even darker shade of pink when he realises who she is. She waves, a coy wiggle of her fingers as he gapes up at her on his hands and knees with his derriere on display in the kitchen. The whole thing is exactly the kind of ridiculous image Lup was hoping to get when temptation flared.

 

“Hey, perhaps I’ve been slacking on my astronomy,” she forces out between cackles of laughter, “but I didn't know a full moon was forecast for tonight!”

 

“Uh, beg pardon?” he asks, his brows drawing together in confusion. Okay, cool, so, Barry must be better with science than he is with jokes. Good to know. Lup points helpfully at his exposed ass in lieu of offering any further witticisms and Barry turns his head to follow the gesture.  “Oh, _god_!” he cries in horror as he takes in his drooping jeans.

 

He rises up onto his knees and hurriedly hikes them up, one hand clinging to the waistband with a white-knuckled grip as he looks anywhere but at her. He looks like he wants the floor to open and swallow him up.

 

“Did I startle you, Barry?” Lup asks, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes.

 

He nods, and manages to summon enough voice to mumble, “I - I didn't realise anybody else was on board right now.”

 

“You mean you _weren't_ flashing three-fifths of your pasty ass just for my benefit?” Lup grins, her lips drawn into a teasing smirk. He begins to stammer, which, honestly, this boy is too easy.

 

“N-no, no, of course not! Lup, I – I would never be so crude,” he protests, words tumbling over themselves as he finally finds it in him to turn mortified eyes up to meet hers. “I was just trying to grab my pen!”

 

“Your pen, huh?” Lup drawls, flashing her teeth in a catlike grin. “You thought you were alone on the ship so you decided to get your ass out and _grab your pen_ in my kitchen?”

 

“Oh my god,” he says, his gravelly voice edging on a whine as his eyes widen in embarrassment. “I was – honestly, I swear, I was _literally_ trying to get hold of – look, I, I came in here to make a cup of coffee, but I dropped my pen, and I think it rolled way under the table so I tried to get under there and get it, and I guess when I kneeled down my jeans fell down some? I swear, Lup, I… I believe in public decency in public places, I promise!”

 

“Uh-huh. Must be a seriously bitchin’ pen, for you to go to all of this trouble for it,” Lup snorts with a roll of her eyes.

 

His gaze drops from hers immediately, fixing on the floor. “Yeah, well, uh, actually my mother gave it to me,” he mumbles, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. Lup’s laughter trails off as he speaks, his rough voice suddenly more earnest than she’d anticipated. “On the day we blasted off, as a going-away present. She knew we didn’t have a lot of room on board the ship for, like, knick-knacks or what have you, so…”

 

The final traces of her giggles die away as something unexpectedly warm swirls suddenly in Lup’s belly. She looks down at him, kneeling on the floor and squirming as he avoids her eyes, and softens her smirk into a genuine smile. “Well, that sure sounds like the perfect kinda gift for you, I’d say,” she says lightly. “Did you find it?”

 

Barry shakes his head, shoulders slumping in defeat. “I can’t see it under there for the life of me,” he sighs, his elbow wiping tiredly over his flushed forehead. “I guess I was wrong? It probably landed somewhere else, so all I managed to accomplish was – was showing my heiny to you. I swear, I didn’t know you were on board, Lup, I wasn’t trying to -”

 

“- relax, homie, I believe you,” she says, taking pity on him. He chances a glance up at her, seemingly uncertain of her dismissive tone, and she waggles her eyebrows at him. “I'm pretty sure if you wanted to get my attention, you wouldn't do it by mooning me, am I right? It doesn’t seem like your steez.”

 

Barry nods shortly, his face still flaming red. “I really don't want you to think I'd act like that,” he mumbles. “You’re so… that’s not how I want… sorry.”

 

Lup is really not sure how they're coming out of this with _him_ apologising to _her_ , but she shrugs loosely. All that science has probably messed with his brain. “It’s really no problem, Barold,” she allows graciously, her mind whirring as she watches him kneel in place, blushing and staring at the floor. All this fuss, over a stupid pen.

 

A stupid pen given to him by his mother, on the last day he saw her, before he left her behind in another plane of existence for god only knows how long.

 

Well, _shit_.

 

Lup nods to herself, suddenly determined. “Hey, do me a favour? Scoot that sweet li’l tushie over.” She issues an imperious wave, trying to shoo him away from the table.

 

“Uh, sure,” he mumbles. He gets awkwardly to his feet - honestly, it seems like Barry does _everything_ awkwardly - and gives her the weakest of smiles, barely more than a brief baring of his teeth, before he begins to head out of the room. “I'll just… see you, Lup.”

 

She ignores him in favour of casting mage hand, which she sends sweeping around underneath the table. The kitchen is her and Taako’s domain, and she certainly knows it better than Barry does; she learned after hunting out a particularly sneaky dropped shallot a few weeks ago that there’s a grate hidden right at the back of the floor, flush against the wall.

 

When the blind prodding of her ethereal hand produces the sound of metal rattling on metal she grasps it triumphantly. “Yo, science-man!” she calls, withdrawing the hand and sending it flying across the kitchen. Barry stops short and turns around, only to find a sparkling red hand wiggling in his face. Lup grins and waves the pen fluidly back and forth in front of his eyes. “Yours, I believe?” she drawls.

 

He blinks, ducking back instinctively as the hand swoops past his nose, before myopic eyes focus on the pen and his face brightens like the rising of the goddamn sun. “You found it!” Barry exclaims, and wow, he sounds so delighted that Lup can't help but grin. What a _nerd_.

 

He reaches for his pen but Lup is enjoying this too much to deny herself a little more fun. She waves her wand smoothly and the hand pulls away from him, then wags its finger in no-no-no gesture in the air. “Please, allow me,” she teases, and uses the hand to slide his pen into the convenient little pocket on the front of his robe. She makes it tap gently over the pen when it’s back where it belongs, then temptation strikes again. With a smirk, she raises her spectral hand to his face and gives one round cheek a playful caress.

 

She expects Barry to sigh, or dissolve into awkward stammering. When he bursts into peals of surprised giggles, Lup is left staring for a moment. Despite having lived in each other’s pockets for the past few months, she doesn't think she's ever heard Barry laugh before.

 

It's… nice. It’s real nice, actually. His whole dumb face lights up in joy, and all of that pensive anxiety he usually broadcasts suddenly vanishes. Lup blinks, astonished, then feels delighted laughter bubbling up in return. “Was that cool?” she asks, withdrawing the hand to wiggle its fingers in the air. “I’m not getting too – now, listen to me very carefully here, Bar, there’s a joke coming, okay?” she says, faux-stern. “And you missed one I made earlier, so I want you to _really_ apply your brainpower and listen out for it, okay? Are you ready?”

 

Barry snorts. “Are you gonna ask me if you’re being too handsy?” he asks, his eyes shining behind his glasses.

 

“Aw, Barry, I was, but you stole my delicious pun,” she sighs, fighting back giggles as he rolls his eyes. She smirks, and raises the mage hand to hover above his head. “Looks like you got…”

 

He stares for a moment, before cracking up. “The upper hand? Really?” he chuckles. “This is your level of humour?”

 

“No, it’s the level of humour I think you’re at,” Lup sniffs, oozing haughtiness and barely holding onto her straight face. “I’m stooping down to meet you here.”

 

“Wow, thanks, I appreciate your consideration,” Barry laughs with a shake of his head, his cheeks still pink as he glances away from her and takes a deep breath. “For the record, if you’re seriously asking, I don’t mind you, um, touching me, I guess. And… and your hand jokes are _glovely_ ,” he adds, before his nose screws up. “That, uh. Doesn’t work, does it. Wow, I screwed that up. It’s not even wearing a glove.”

 

“Uh-huh. I see next time we get into a joke-off I’ll have to stoop even lower,” Lup teases, and with a wave of her wand, the hand dips to ruffle his hair. He’s too adorable.

 

“Okay, okay, you win,” Barry concedes with a squawk of laughter. Lup morphs the hand into a thumbs up, but Barry falls quiet. She watches as he takes the pen from his pocket and turns it over in his hands, his eyes on it but his gaze somehow distant. After a moment he ducks his head sheepishly, his lips spreading into a warm smile. “Hey, uh, thanks, Lup,” he says softly. “This means a lot to me.”

 

“It’s my pleasure, Bar-zan,” she replies. The mood is getting entirely too earnest for her liking, so she tries to lighten it by busting out a cheesy curtsy. He chuckles, and responds with a deep, slightly self-conscious bow.

 

Yet again, temptation flares, and she just won’t resist. Her mage hand darts down to tug at his jeans when he bends, trying to pants him, and she cackles as he yelps and scrambles to keep them up. “Whoa, _Barold_ , I thought we literally just discussed this?” she gasps, mock-appalled. “Public decency in public places, you said it yourself! You need to get yourself a belt, my man! Your ass is _determined_ to be on display!”

 

To her astonishment and delight, Barry is still giggling. He backs up, still clutching at his waistband with one hand in case she tries again, and points at the door with the other. “I, uh, I should get going,” he says, his expression adorably flustered.

 

“Sure, homie, don't let me keep you from your books,” Lup smirks, with a dismissive wave of both her own hand, and the mage hand. “Go moon them instead of me.”

 

He flashes her a sheepish grin, turns tail, and practically runs from the kitchen. Lup lets him get a few feet down the corridor before she sends the mage hand after him and, judging from the flustered yelp in the distance, manages to catch him on the ass with it before it dissipates.

 

She jumps up onto the counter as her laughter fills the room again. That was… awesome. All of it, every part; not only pranking Barry so thoroughly, but him actually having a conversation with her, making him laugh…

 

Seeing him smile…

 

Huh. _Weird_. The science nerd turned out to be more entertaining than she anticipated.

 

Lup grins to herself. She’s actually tempted to have even more fun with this guy.

 

And she _always_ gives in to temptation.


End file.
